Musings

Go Where You're Loved...You Will Do Your Best Work

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Hello #BossTribe, it’s been awhile, but we’ve been undergoing some major changes here at The B is for Boss. We are working on bringing more digital content to our platform this year, along with some other IRL networking opportunities both locally in NYC and internationally.

(spoiler alert: check back at 3pm CST today when we unlock our destination and sign ups for our 2019 Summer Retreat.)

In addition to revamping the site, I’ve also done some major rework and revamps in my personal and professional life. Which leads me back to my first big announcement….*drum roll please*

Last month, I left my job and went back to my previous one. Yup, that’s right. I “boomeranged” and it was the best decision I could have made.

I am now co-leading the Digital Sports Group at Taylor PR.

I wanted to let a month pass, before screaming it from the rooftops, but I know now thirty days in, that without a doubt I made the best decision. This past month, I’ve been happier than I have been in over a year. If you recall I wrote a post about how leaving your dream job is never easy. And boy, was that an understatement. Without getting into all the dirty details, in short: I made a mistake. A huge one. I left a job I loved for what I perceived was a better opportunity. However, I didn’t take the time to ensure my values were aligned with the new team I would be joining. I soon realized that I didn’t connect with my manager or my team and they didn’t care enough about me or my career growth in a way that suited my needs. Additionally their culture wasn’t progressive and as a minority woman in the Sports industry, I realized quickly that there were glass ceilings not even my best six inch heels could shatter.

Because we spend the majority of our days at work, it’s important to keep in mind that if a workplace is toxic, it will most definitely trickle into your personal life. Unfortunately for me, not only did it trickle into my personal life, it affected my health and it also trickled into my business. It was very hard to run a career platform, while being so unhappy in my own career and that bothered me. I felt like I was letting so many women down when I couldn’t show up as my best self, because my own job was so draining. But through this experience, I learned a valuable lesson:

“Go where you are loved and you’ll do your best work.”

No job is perfect. There’s always going to be challenges. Whether it is office gossip, politics or competition. However, if at the core you feel loved and the environment is positive, you will do your best work.

I recently read a Marie Claire feature of Lupita Nyong’o, and she put it this way:

“You must always go where you’re loved, because I deeply believe in the principle that the perceiver affects the perceived. So if the person’s perceiving you with love, you’re more likely to do a better job.”

She then goes on to say: “Have you ever experienced this thing where you feel you’re with someone who thinks you’re stupid, and then you start to do really stupid things? Or someone who thinks you’re clumsy, and then all of a sudden you become clumsy?”

You’re probably shaking your head like yes, I know exactly what she’s talking about.

Well, it’s true. When you’re in toxic environments, you can’t show up as your best self. Whether it’s your career, a relationship, or friendship, if the person on the receiving end or in this case the perceiver doesn’t care about you or respect you, it will in turn affect how you show up. Why dim your light for a job or people who don’t deserve your shine anyways?

Be around people who value what is valuable about you.

Be around people who support you.

Be around people that love you.

I could have ran from one bad job to the next, but I decided to go back to a place where I was loved. No matter what people may have thought about my decision. In fact, I know there were several people who had something to say about my decision (many of which are probably reading and screenshotting this now).

However, at the end of the day, I made the decision that was best for my mental and physical health and my happiness.

Don’t run away from a job or opportunity, just to end up in another situation you’ll want to run away from months later. Run towards something.

I did.

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LEAVING YOUR DREAM JOB IS NEVER EASY

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Today is Monday and for the first time in over two years, I didn't wake up and hit the ground running to go to my dream job in the Empire State Building at one of the top Sports & Entertainment PR agencies in New York City.

It was definitely a strange experience when my alarm went off this morning, to not get dressed, hop on the "B" train to Herald Square, and prepare for a day full of meetings with clients and colleagues.

The same clients and colleagues that I've grown to know and love, that I've brainstormed with, had lunch, dinner, and drinks with, clients and colleagues I've danced with in Boston night clubs, clients and colleagues I have been in the trenches with at midnight some nights and on Christmas Eve to bring campaigns from concept to creation.

When you love your job, your colleagues, and your boss, it can be really hard to turn in your resignation. It’s not just the job you’re leaving. It's like losing part of your family.  

I’ll never forget when I got the call back in 2015, saying that I got the job. As a young girl from Texas, with dreams of taking New York City by storm-– my job was truly a dream come true. A PR job, working on NFL campaigns AND inside the EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. It was hard to contain my excitement. Fast forward over two years, and I'm now closing a chapter. It's very bittersweet. 

I smile when I think back at all the things I accomplished. From multiple Super Bowls and NFL Drafts, to three NFL kick-offs , a few Thanksgiving games, and NFL Honors along the way. This job has helped me grow exponentially as a person and a PR professional. I look back on dozens of media days with  NFL players like Rob Gronkowski, Jerome Bettis, Josh Norman, Clay Matthews, and Emmanuel Sanders to name a few. I think back on one of my biggest accomplishments, winning 12 Cannes Lions (one of the most prestigious awards in the industry) for our 2017 Super Bowl campaign.

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It's very nostalgic to the say the least. However, as the saying goes-- "all good things must come to an end". And just as the work towards a goal you have set comes to an end, so does the joy and excitement around "achieving" it. Therefore, you have to set new ones. And while it has been an amazing opportunity and experience to find my "dream job". I had an equally amazing revelation recently. And that is-- In life, as we continue to grow and evolve, so do our dreams. And that's okay.

Dreams change. Goals grow. Passions evolve. 

And while I once dreamed of living in New York City, as a Sports & Entertainment Publicist working in the NFL, this young girl (now Boss Lady) from Texas has new dreams.

So with much gratitude to my support system (mentors, friends, family) as well as my former colleagues and boss (for grooming me into the professional I am today), I've decided it's time to continue to expand my Sports portfolio and expertise. I am excited to announce that I'll be starting a new job at Ketchum Sports & Entertainment as a Managing Account Supervisor this Wednesday.

With my new role, I'll get the opportunity to work on clients across College Football, Olympics, NFL, Soccer and more. And while it's difficult to part ways with such an awesome company, it's serves as major inspiration for me that I can "find my dream job" and still continue dreaming. I can't wait to see what's next and I'm excited to take you all on my journey.

Boss Tribe... use this as a reminder that while it's always good to set goals and work towards them, it's also important to keep setting new ones, once we reach the old ones. Always keep dreaming! The world is ours for the taking. 

Quick trip down memory lane to some of my favorite memories....

I have to lead my walk down memory lane with a photo of the hardest working team I've ever been apart of. I'll remember each and every one of you for sticking with me through one of my most challenging and rewarding projects ever. #BradshawStain

I have to lead my walk down memory lane with a photo of the hardest working team I've ever been apart of. I'll remember each and every one of you for sticking with me through one of my most challenging and rewarding projects ever. #BradshawStain

The War Room during Super Bowl 51, watching my client's commercial air in real time on Super Bowl Sunday.  .

The War Room during Super Bowl 51, watching my client's commercial air in real time on Super Bowl Sunday.

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Working with first-round draft pick, Jamal Adams (NY Jets) at the 2017 NFL Draft.

Working with first-round draft pick, Jamal Adams (NY Jets) at the 2017 NFL Draft.

My media credentials from my first Super Bowl. 

My media credentials from my first Super Bowl. 

After a full day of media interviews with Jerome Bettis (retired Pittsburgh Steelers).

After a full day of media interviews with Jerome Bettis (retired Pittsburgh Steelers).

On the red carpet at 2017 NFL Honors Awards Show.

On the red carpet at 2017 NFL Honors Awards Show.

Killing the sports game, with one of my favorite former colleagues Samantha Baier; talking about marketing to women in Sports.

Killing the sports game, with one of my favorite former colleagues Samantha Baier; talking about marketing to women in Sports.

My first sideline experience at a Cincinatti Bengals game against the Miami Dolphins.

My first sideline experience at a Cincinatti Bengals game against the Miami Dolphins.

My first sideline passes at said NFL game.

My first sideline passes at said NFL game.

Media day with Josh Norman (Washington Redskins) and Emmanuel Sanders (Denver Broncos) at Super Bowl 50!

Media day with Josh Norman (Washington Redskins) and Emmanuel Sanders (Denver Broncos) at Super Bowl 50!

My first NFL Draft experience, hosting media day with six first round picks: Ronnie Stanley(Baltimore Ravens), Eli Apple (NY Giants), Josh Doctson (Washington Redskins), Vernon Hargreaves (Tampa Bay Buccaneers), Jared Goff (L.A. Rams), and Jack Conklin (Tennessee Titans).Listed left to right, top to bottom.

My first NFL Draft experience, hosting media day with six first round picks: Ronnie Stanley(Baltimore Ravens), Eli Apple (NY Giants), Josh Doctson (Washington Redskins), Vernon Hargreaves (Tampa Bay Buccaneers), Jared Goff (L.A. Rams), and Jack Conklin (Tennessee Titans).Listed left to right, top to bottom.

One of Jerome Bettis' media interviews I scheduled at Super Bowl 50 on the Rich Eisen Show.

One of Jerome Bettis' media interviews I scheduled at Super Bowl 50 on the Rich Eisen Show.

All of the fan gear I purchased for my first Super Bowl game... I unapologetically fan girled out!

All of the fan gear I purchased for my first Super Bowl game... I unapologetically fan girled out!

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THE POWER OF RESETTING & REFOCUSING

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Have you ever abandoned a goal you made for yourself? Whether it was a goal for the new year, for the quarter, or the start of a week...trust me, you’re not alone. It’s common to get blasted with work, projects, or responsibilities you didn’t plan for when making your goals.  If you’re struggling to stay the course, don’t abandon all hope and give up just yet.

Long-term goals require an investment that often don't pay noticeable dividends for weeks or months. Just as your 401K takes time to achieve the desired results, so does many of the goals you set for yourself. However, there is power in resetting and refocusing. So don't be ashamed if you fail, or if you're like me and just need a break. Let me explain... Four months ago, I launched this blog. The response was amazing. I was excited at how well it was received. I couldn't believe I had finally accomplished a goal, I had set out for myself over a year ago and was starting to see the fruits of my labor. However, I had the game all messed up! I was unaware of the amount of time, dedication, planning, and organization maintaining a blog and developing a second stream of income would require. I was getting inquiries about my services, people were booking consulting sessions, and purchasing resume reviews and  and then of course, the dreaded favors/freebie requests poured in from friends and family. I was doing my best to keep up but realized quickly, this would not be an easy task between work, working out, spending time with my family/friends/boyfriend, side hustle, repeat.

After going on a much needed vacation for my birthday back in August, I thought I had pressed the necessary reset buttons, to get refocused and hit the ground running. Boy was I wrong! When I retuned back to my 9-5 (read: 9-7), I was swamped with the start of the NFL season.  I came back to a couple of PR crisis', a client revamp and then to add to my load, President Trump called all on the NFL to fire all NFL players who kneeled, right before he called them S-O-B's. I won't even get into my thoughts on that whole fiasco right now, but unless you have been living a rock, that caused a huge media swirl. Since all of my clients are NFL Sponsors, I was in full crisis communications mode -- which has hit its own peaks and valleys -- but hasn't stopped and doesn't show signs of slowing down anytime soon. Then, I had a work trip to Cincinnati, followed by a personal trip to LA. Once I returned, I was full swing back to work along with serving on the board of a non-profit, called RaisingAPro.org which is piloting some programs this Fall. Finally, I had an unexpected opportunity come my way that I have been working on, that I'll be able to announce in a couple weeks, so stay tuned!

Needless to say, life came at me fast and I looked up and had taken a two month hiatus from blogging. And while I'm not proud of falling off in that regard, I know that it was needed andit was necessary. It allowed me the opportunity to make some changes, look inward and remember why I started, and most of all, make me better -- so I could better serve my community of boss women. I've made some changes and I'm still a work in progress, but I have officially hit the reset button and I'm ready for the challenge. I've put some systems in place to make me more effective, I'm structuring my day more efficiently and I'm currently looking for an intern and assistant.

Now back to the topic at hand...I'm here to tell you that we all fall short sometimes. But instead of getting down on yourself, go ahead:

 

RE-focus, RE-set, RE-new, RE-juvenate, RE-launch, RE-brand, and RE-do as many times as you need to.

 

Proper Perspective and Purpose
It takes a certain degree of perspective and purpose to succeed on any journey. Just think of the word “journey”. It implies traveling along an arduous path toward a worthy outcome. Most people are looking for something easier and quicker than that, and this is precisely why they fail to reach their goals.

A goal that isn’t attached to something deep and personal within you is a dead end.Make sure you’ve measured what’s at stake if you don’t accomplish your goal and what’s the benefit if you do. 

A goal that’s worth the effort will take months or even years to achieve. If you think it’s going to happen overnight, you’ll be sorely disappointed. In fact, you will hit many bumps in the road. You will have to refocus, you will have to reset, you will have to redo.

But, examine what you’ve set out to attain and why you chose it. Take aim at the target, remain steadfast in your pursuit, and accomplish it. You can do it. I believe in you! I believe in us.

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7 Steps You Can Take Today, To Start Living Your Best/Boss Life

In life, we get so busy trying to hit our goals and achieve success, that we forget to live in the present and enjoy the moment. In order to be happy and live your best life, you don’t need a million dollars or a new Chanel bag. Often times you just need to take the first step and put one foot in front of the other to feel accomplished like you are progressing.

Here are seven easy steps you can start today, to start living your best BOSSIEST life!

1. Stop Procrastinating

Take one step towards the thing you have been dreaming about! Buy that domain name for $9.99. Spend 30 minutes applying for that job. Write that thank you note. Go to the gym. Whatever it is you have been putting off, take one action step towards it today. 

2. Add Affirmations to your Daily Routine!

There is so much power in the words “I AM”. Every morning I tell myself “I AM” three things. Everyday it’s something different. Today...

  • I AM Intelligent
  • I AM  Unstoppable
  • I AM Powerful!

3. Power Pose (like Beyonce)

Go to a mirror. Stand in front of it with your hands on your hips for 30 seconds! *Bonus* Repeat your three affirmations in this pose. (It feels silly, but I promise you will feels so damn good afterwardsJust like Bey standing with your hands on your hips can boost your confidence. “Research shows that standing tall with your chest out and hands on your hips can make you feel bolder. In fact, in a Ted Talk social psychologist Amy Cuddy noted that holding this pose for just two minutes can boost your levels of testosterone and lower your levels cortisol, and that these hormonal change can configure your brain to be assertive, confident and comfortable.”

4. Do Something Nice for Someone less fortunate

Buy a homeless person a meal, donate all those clothes your closet you haven’t worn in  years. There’s something about giving that just lifts your spirits. Let’s be honest, if you’re reading this blog (you have access to a computer and wifi) so that in itself is a privilege.

5.   Be Grateful!

This one is huge! We all want more. We all want better. But stop today and write down three things you are grateful for. And tomorrow write three more. If you do this everyday for a week, you will have 21 things you are grateful for and will be on your way to appreciating and living your happiest (and bossiest) life.

6.  Forgive her/him

The person in your life, that has controlled your thoughts for far too long, forgive them! It will add years to your life. Key word, is to forgive (not forget). Trust me! You’re doing yourself more harm than good by holding on to old hurt, pain, or resentment. How can you live your bossiest life, if you’re constantly cursing someone in your head?

7. Compliment someone

Because paying a sincere compliment feels even better than receiving one....and best of all it’s free! We all know how great it is to receive a compliment; research shows getting a sincere compliment gives us the same positive boost as receiving cash! But did you know that the health and happiness benefits to the compliment giver are also well-documented? Compliments really are one of the easiest two-way streets available in terms of spreading happiness around you and increasing your own. The more you compliment, the better you feel.

 

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